trying in public
similar to "building in public", without the attachment to any outcome
I’ve wanted to build a writing habit and share it publicly for a while. What’s stopped me?
I’ve been writing since I was 6 years old (wow we’re coming on 20 years) - it’s always been a safe way for me to explore the intense emotions I’ve navigated throughout life. Sharing my writing felt like sharing the truest version of myself - in a way that felt too vulnerable to put onto the internet.
I’ve explored writing about things that interest me, but what’s always felt the most natural and effortless have been things related to my feelings and introspection. It felt like I’d be falling into the stereotype of “women write about their feelings, and men write about business/science/anything not feelings or introspection.” Part of breaking down that stereotype was following more writers and consuming their content, which pretty quickly showed me that anyone and everyone writes about whatever the fuck they want - and I should too.
Alongside writing, I’ve decided there are three habits/skills I want to focus on this year.
I stopped smoking weed at the end of 2023 and the inspiration I’ve felt in the last three months has been slightly overwhelming. It feels like every time I see a friend I’m talking about a new idea, hobby, or activity that I want to explore. The issue was I had all these ideas followed by minimal execution. I’ve always struggled with building habits, and the thing that’s driven me to dive in headfirst is a guy that I dated, who shall remain unnamed.
I was extremely attracted to his endless list of things that he wanted to explore - he was one of those people who is so inspiring to be around because it felt like he was always challenging himself to push his boundaries and try new things. I love being uncomfortable and I’m insanely attracted to passion. After a few months of dating, the ideas kept flowing but the action was missing. I’d follow up on things he had talked about exploring and he had already moved on to the next thing he was interested in. I realized I did the same thing, and I didn’t want to spend my life talking about ideas or things I wanted to try - I wanted to do. An idea is a gift and it deserves the space to be explored. I want to look back at 2024 and feel like I tried. A lot of us are flowing with inspiration but lack the discipline to execute. In part I believe this has to do with the rates we’re consuming other people’s ideas/thoughts/lives - there’s this endless stream of inspiration and so many ways to live your life or hobbies to try, the scariest part is committing to one thing because it takes away your ability to jump onto another thing. Our time is scarce; is writing going to be the most fulfilling hobby? Should I wait until something feels more certain or until I can formulate some sort of outcome?
Agency is a powerful thing and for most, the decision paralysis is crippling to some degree. I’ve decided I’m going to dive in because I can always pivot if this isn’t for me. At least I’ll leave this having tried.
Now why am I doing it “in public?” I’ve searched for ways to share my life experiences in a way that allows people to connect because that’s the type of content I prefer to consume. I love reading other people’s writing and finding comfort in the fact that someone else out there in the world understands exactly what I’m going through, whether it’s a positive or a negative experience. I used to very publicly share my life on TikTok but now that I work in Influencer Marketing I’m not sure that’s what I want to leverage that platform for. Writing feels raw, consuming it feels intentional, and vulnerability demands intentional space. So that’s how we got here.
In case you’re curious about the other three focus areas, I’ve listed them below and will likely cover them in some shape or form in my writing (along with my introspections/my love life):
Fitness: Running and Yoga
Career: Self-teaching UI/UX
Passion Project: Building a community around sober events in Toronto
If that sounds like your thing, or you enjoyed my writing - feel free to subscribe! I joined a 30-day writing challenge so will be updating this space regularly :)